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When God Created Virginia

SouthernBoy

Regular Member
Joined
May 12, 2007
Messages
5,833
Location
Western Prince William County, Virginia, USA
I know, it isn't about firearms but it is about Virginia. Sent to me from a fellow Virginian who hails from the Tidewater.

Enjoy.


When God Created Virginia
(even non-Virginians should love this one.)

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it.

I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great
opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over
there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries.

"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be
very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Virginia , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things"

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "Right next to Virginia is Washington , D.C. .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"
 

peter nap

Accomplished Advocate
Joined
Oct 16, 2007
Messages
13,556
Location
Valhalla
God was having a very good day when he started.
First he made the Blue Ridge Mountains, then had lunch.

Then he started in the south and worked his way north. It was some of his finest work.

When he got to the Ni River he opened his mail and saw the IRS was auditing him. You might say everything from the NI to the other side of DC went to hell.:lol:
 

Red Dawg

Regular Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2010
Messages
399
Location
Eastern VA, with too many people
Just wondering what it is about the Ni... why not the James or Rapahannock?
And why pick on the poor Ni, there are like 2 other lil rivers forming the Mattaponi...personnally, I'd go Rapahanack..I like some of the little towns, with waterman between Mat and Rap...

I also think there is no civilized life East of Gordonsville...
 

peter nap

Accomplished Advocate
Joined
Oct 16, 2007
Messages
13,556
Location
Valhalla
The Ni was known in ancient times as the River Styx. It separates the worlds and it's hot on the north side!:p
 

Grapeshot

Legendary Warrior
Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
35,336
Location
Valhalla
The Ni was known in ancient times as the River Styx. It separates the worlds and it's hot on the north side!:p
When Caesar crossed the Ni with his trojan horse, he told Zeus, "This side is mine, that side is yorn." and the fiddler kept playing.
 

Grapeshot

Legendary Warrior
Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
35,336
Location
Valhalla
Think Peter has already been to Helen Back and returned neither richer nor poorer. It's just what he does.
 

Citizen

Founder's Club Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
18,283
Location
Fairfax Co., VA
Think Peter has already been to Helen Back and returned neither richer nor poorer. It's just what he does.
Listen, don't take this as a thaw or anything. But, you missed it. Peter's remark about the River Styx and it being hot north of the Ni was a southern way of saying everything north of the Ni is Hell.

My reply about not wanting him as a neighbor was just an obtuse way of letting him know that I got it.
 
Last edited:

Grapeshot

Legendary Warrior
Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
35,336
Location
Valhalla
Listen, don't take this as a thaw or anything. But, you missed it. Peter's remark about the River Styx and it being hot north of the Ni was a southern way of saying everything north of the Ni is Hell.

My reply about not wanting him as a neighbor was just an obtuse way of letting him know that I got it.
Really? Gee wiz golly. Got it.

Didn't say that you were other than just being obtuse.
 
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