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NOT TRUE BUT HUMOROUS: Found on Craig's list

Slidell Jim

Regular Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
177
Location
Slidell, La
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex
 

Coded-Dude

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 18, 2010
Messages
317
Location
Roseville
embarrassing the man and making him think twice was enough. while the other antics where definitely funny, they were also a bit excessive. The story is probably embellished a bit for shock and awe, bit it is funny(if indeed 100% accurate)
 

eye95

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2010
Messages
13,539
Location
Fairborn, Ohio, USA
I don't believe this story for a second. However, if it were true, both the assailant and the author/"victim" belong in jail.

I hope no one is holding this story up as anything that anyone should do as the author committed:

Armed robbery.
Assault with a deadly weapon. (It stopped being SD when the robbery began.)
Kidnapping.
Credit card fraud (numerous counts).
Identity theft.
Threatening the president.

I don't know the criminal code where this occurred, however I'd bet that the author/"victim" could end up spending the better part of the rest of his life in jail. I'd vote to convict on all counts.

Let's don't hold up criminal activity as something positive here, folks. It gives the cause of promoting OC a horrible name.
 

skidmark

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
10,449
Location
Valhalla
While Snopes has some questions of veracity with regards to their politics, they are usually considered reliable for other issues.

They have debunked this one for some time. http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

Yes, there is a part inside all of our hearts that wishes stuff like this were true - even though we know there are many things morally and legally wrong with what is supposed to have happened.

stay safe.
 

HeroHog

Regular Member
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
628
Location
Shreveport, LA
Had I done something like that, I would have returned his possessions, intact and un-used. Of course the mugger would have to pick them up at the police station after telling them why they wound up in Police possession!

(Hi Skid! We are behind ya brother!)
 

strife1013

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2010
Messages
100
Location
Colorado Springs, Colorado
A story of how the defenseless became the attacker, I think a simple call to the police would have worked, and in all reality he could be charged with some crimes, credit card fraud, robbery, etc...
 
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Haz.

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
1,226
Location
I come from a land downunder.
"I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me.'
.

How did you know the shoes, cell phone and wallet belonged to the Guy Who Tried to Mug you? What if they were stolen from me or another innocent victim just days or even a few hours earlier? Haz.
 

Evil Tyler Durden

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
46
Location
Crummy California the most unfair state in the uni
Fantastic way to humiliate and destroy a person using a judo tactic without actually touching anyone. Full embarrassment included, see folks it is possible to have dinner and a show when carrying. I definitely like how you called his mom and informed her of the mistake she calls son, and his endeavors.
I also liked the target and FBI deal as well.
 
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MKEgal

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
4,387
Location
in front of my computer, WI
Eric, welcome aboard. I notice you're kind of new here.
If you think something is inappropriate you can report it to the mods. (See the triangle?)
Whining about it in a post doesn't do that.
I think it would be appropriate to move this to the social lounge rather than being deleted.
 

EricDailey X-NRA

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2011
Messages
209
Location
Wake County, NC
Eric, welcome aboard. I notice you're kind of new here.
If you think something is inappropriate you can report it to the mods. (See the triangle?)
Whining about it in a post doesn't do that.
I think it would be appropriate to move this to the social lounge rather than being deleted.
Thank you for the charming welcome. It's thoughtful of you to put it in the thread like this. I can tell you have lots of experience. Keep in touch.
 

wrightme

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2008
Messages
5,575
Location
Fallon, Nevada, USA
Thank you for the charming welcome. It's thoughtful of you to put it in the thread like this. I can tell you have lots of experience. Keep in touch.
Well, other than the specific "whining" reference, which can be construed as a bit condescending, her post was accurate.

But I agree, reporting this one for removal is, IMHO, applicable.
 

EricDailey X-NRA

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2011
Messages
209
Location
Wake County, NC
Hey!!
Hellooo!!
Moderators?
Anybody there??

Uhm, why is this post still on the board. Will somebody please scrape this mess off the Forum.
This thread is in a sub-forum called "True Tales of Self Defense." It is apparent that this OP is not a True Tale. It breaks other rules of the Forum and has done since December. My post was on topic. Comments about attitude are not on topic.

Waiting for mods.
 

wrightme

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2008
Messages
5,575
Location
Fallon, Nevada, USA
This thread is in a sub-forum called "True Tales of Self Defense." It is apparent that this OP is not a True Tale. It breaks other rules of the Forum and has done since December. My post was on topic. Comments about attitude are not on topic.

Waiting for mods.
Did you avail yourself of the triangular shaped "report" button?
 

j4l

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
1,835
Location
fl
Ladies, it's a moment of levity and comic relief on an otherwise-serious forum.
Why the need to take it anywhere beyond that, instead of just having a chuckle, as Im sure it was originally intended?


Section after section, thread after thread of thin-skinned,hyper-sensitive,humorless girlies of late. It's beginning to seem less like a firearms-related forum and more the like the forums of Bed Bath and Beyond...:banghead:

Folks this thin-skinned,and sensitive probably should'nt be packing pistols, concealed or open. Now, run along and have a group-hug or aroma-therapy or whatever it is you sensitive-types do for relaxation...
 
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