We shouldn't place so much weight in symbols. They are open to interpretation and their meaning may differ from the sender to the recipient.
Whether burning a flag is disrespectful or the proper means of disposal depends on the intent of the person burning it, doesn't it? Therefore, if you care about such things (I confess I don't), you must accept that the intent of the person doing whatever with the flag is important to your own reaction thereto.
Keep in mind, most of these flags aren't intended to piss you off. It's a way of saying, "Hey, I'm gay, and gay rights are important to me, but I'm also a patriotic American, and to me the two go hand in hand", or "Hey, I'm a neo-nazi, and I love being an American!"
You don't have to like those messages, but it's just as silly to twist it into something tantamount to an intentional slight because it offends your sensibilities, as it is to have some silly variation on the American flag in the first place.
Symbols should have merit, or not, baed on the merit of the ideas they represent, or are intended to represent.
Giving a symbol inherent value and meaning (which none can possibly have), is no more enlightened a form of patriotism than is equating love of country with love of government, or worse government's "leader".
Just my opinion, folks.